Facebook

Call it social media, call it personal documentation, call it "keeping in touch." Whatever you may call it, I call it addiction. The infamous "FB" is not simply another inocucous "social media" website; it is, in my opinion, one of the most potent personal forms of addiction. If you don't agree with me, think about this...

We take pictures. We make snippets of videos. We compose status updates. We experiment with hashtags. All with the express purpose of posting, posting to a world of people who we are longing to show the intimate details of our lives. Out entire lives are documented on FB. We have come to think about our lives through the lense of a Facebook post. And do you want to know why?

Becuase we desperately desire validation.

We post something and then check, check and then check again, to see how many "likes" we have. And if you say you've never done it, you're kidding yourself. I think we all have, at least I know I have. I was to the point where I was thinking in Facebook posts: taking pictures, composing updates mentally and then as I said checking incessently to see how many "likes" I had received. It pains me to admit it, but I must. The first step in healing from any addiction is regocnizing that there is a problem. And I have a problem with Facebook.

I even feel like it's deeply curtailed my creativity and contemplative habits that used to be so second nature. And Facebook isn't the sole culprit, movies, and media in general are all the enemy of the mind. In this season of my life my default has been to seek things out in which I can shut down and turn off, not think, mindlessly pursue entertainment that requires nothing of me but passivity. My husband referred to it as the "minefield of your soul;" and he's right. I've allowed, over time, these demons of media to infringe upon my soul and mind.

And I want them back.

I want to reclaim what's been stolen from me, or maybe been freely given away, but I want it back. I know it will be a fight. Habits don't change overnight. I also refelct that "we do not fight against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers." This isn't just a fleshly fight, this is a fight for my soul, mind, and heart, and I have to win. No, I can't win alone, nor simply out of my own strength, but the grace given me dialy in Christ I have hope.

So what do we do? What have I done to pursue steps of freedom? Well, first I deactivated my Facebook account--I know if I were really hardcore I would delete it all together, but I'm just not there yet--I'll get there. This is a first step. Then, I ask for help maintaining sobriety. I know it sounds crazy to treat this like achoholism or drug addiciton, but an addiction is an addiction, especially if it's interferring with your quality of life--and this is. Then it looks like changing your habits. It's one thing to eliminate a habit, but if youd don't replace it with something new that same habit will appear agian, and again, and again. I've done it, and it does. And I don't want it to anymore.

I'm not sure if this time of deactivating will "stick" but I can be hopeful, and I can try and take steps to pursue things that are life-giving and not life-sucking.

Some people don't struggle with alchohol. Some peoeple don't struggle with drugs. Some people don't struggle with Facebook; I do. And I hope someday not to. I hope to return to contemplative things: reading, writing, thinking, drawing, studying and bettering myself.

Ultimately, I hope I can seek once again my true validation from it's only satisfying source: Jesus. I pray I could return to the place where my soul truly finds rest, at the feet of Jesus. That I could turn off the noise of this age and once again hear His still, small voice, and be validated. Herein lies my hope.